Ho, Ho, No...Not Yet...

It's that time of year again, when everyone is talking about it, there are songs about it everywhere, it's on TV, in the streets... everywhere. That's right, it's that time of year when it's Not Christmas.

It starts in September, usually when the selection packs begin to appear in the shops, followed by the Christmas cards and the wrapping paper, then the tins of sweets, special Christmassy editions of your favourite products (in other words, lots of red or white, fake ribbon and possibly some sort of seasonal pun involving the product's name. "Look, Mummy, I can use Photoshop!") and then the trees and decorations arrive. This has often happened before we've even got into November. Why? I don't think we'd be likely to forget about Christmas if the above didn't happen so early.

Before anyone starts accusing me of being a Scrooge, I'm not. I have nothing against Christmas. I love getting in the spirit, decorating the tree, buying presents for people and the general lovely things that can happen, but do we really need to have it rammed down our throats so early?

Now we are in December, it's not so bad. I'm not in the spirit myself, mainly because I'm stressing out over all the work-type stuff I have covered on here recently, but I'll make an effort nearer the time, I always do. But, one thing that annoys the sleeping piss out of me is the excitement generated by the annual appearance of The Fucking Coca-Cola Christmas Jizz-Fest Advert ® (Official title). 

I know this will upset a lot of people, but it's shit! Sorry, but as nice as it is for an ad fan like myself to see an advert return year upon year over such a long period, it's just a load of sugary, fizzy shit. At least the brand association is there, I suppose. I don't know what I find more annoying: the fact that they are basically saying "It's Christmas, so keep making us rich by buying our distinctly unseasonal excuse for a soft drink", or that in an age that has seen big multinational companies such as Coca-Cola become The Big, Bad Fuck Off, people seem to forget what they stand for, just because of shit loads of fake snow, a heavily decorated and branded road train and a song that's so cheesy, your ears are at risk from vomiting liquid Cheddar.

Everything about that advert stinks, in my opinion. I apologise if you disagree, but as I technically used to be Coca-Cola's bitch, I have seen what they are really like and how bad their main product is. But that's beside the point. It's a hollow and tacky advert that should only get you excited if you're 7. By all means, you can be any age and excited about Christmas once we're into December, but if that advert has you wetting yourself as an adult, then you're as bad as those people who take their own Pool cues along to the pub to have a couple of casual games with some mates, or buisnesstwats that get all childish and sulky if they have a bad round of Golf.

I'm aware that this is all making me out to be a grumpy bastard-pants, but I don't mind the Christmas spirit once we are in December. Which we are now. I just think that in the same way it's the season when people easily overindulge on food and drink, it's also when people can overindulge on the excitement and feel they have to spend lots of money, they have to do lots of stuff. Where's the enjoyment, if you pile so much pressure on yourself or peak too early?

Take it steady and enjoy.

And if anybody gives me a bottle of Coca-Cola as a Christmas present, forget the fact the holidays are coming, it's the location said bottle is going that you'll need to worry about.