Upon my recent return to blogging, I mentioned that things had started to pick up, as I had got myself a new job back in June and I was really enjoying it. It's the truth. I can honestly say that out of all of the paid jobs I have had, this is the best one. So, realistically, it was only a matter of time before Sod's Law would piss everywhere.
It all started on Tuesday evening, when we all got phone calls to say an urgent meeting had been called for the following evening. In pretty much any situation, an urgent meeting is not going to be a good thing. So, at 6am Wednesday morning, my colleague and I turned up to unload the delivery of new stock and inevitably, all we talked about was what it could all be about. Within an hour or so, more staff had arrived and although absolutely nothing had been said, myself and my colleague could tell the news wasn't going to be good.
My shift ended that morning and I then had to go through the rest of the day practically knowing what was going to happen, only without any actual confirmation. It was torture, but I kept calm and tried to keep distracted. Then, as I got ready to leave the house and return to work that evening, nerves set in and my heart was racing. I thought I was prepared, but the thought that the facts would soon be given to us was starting to scare me.
I got there early, so hung around, had a laugh with my colleagues, then the Area Manager appeared. Most of us had guessed what was going on by now, that this was it, really. No offence to him, it's just that it all felt like bad news and for the meeting to be called so suddenly and with him in attendance... well, the heavy rain outside might as well have been accompanying a big fuck-off neon sign.
Well, just after 6pm, the meeting started and within 5 minutes, it was broken to us by our Area Manager that our store was to close in January. I had prepared for it all day, but it still hurt. After all this time, I had finally found a job I actually liked with colleagues and management I fully got on with and now all of that was going to be taken away. Gutted really isn't the word. They're going to do their best to help us out individually: within the next couple of weeks, one-to-one consultations will begin with us all to discuss not only our options, but what we would like to do.
Basically, the main options are to stick with the company and try to get a transfer to another store, to look elsewhere for another job and leave before the store closes, or stay on until the end and take redundancy. Well, the last option won't apply to me and it also won't apply to a few of my colleagues, as we haven't been there long enough. Now, despite the fact that we will be closing, the good news (ha... good news...) is that we have until January to find something. By the time I got home from the meeting, I had already started asking a few friends and contacts for helpful details, information and to keep an eye out for jobs for me, because January isn't that far away in the grand scheme of things.
The few people I have told up to this point have been asking how I am feeling about it all. To some people, they would assume it would be obvious (i.e. abso-shitting-lutely awful), but personally, it feels different. I'll admit, I'm heartbroken. I love this job. We all get on, we have a laugh and we look out for eachother. After everything I went through with my last job, I really needed a place like this. It has helped my state of mind so much. I never intended to stay there forever, but I had started to think about giving it a year or two and even then, I probably would have stayed on. But, that choice has been taken away. In 3 months, my colleagues, my managers, that whole atmosphere that has done so much good for me will all be gone. I'm sad and angry, yet I'm accepting it. The decision will not be reversed, so trying to fight it would be pointless and destructive.
Despite the sadness and anger, I'm not taking it lying down. In fact, I'm seeing it as a twattingly massive neon sign. It's time to live, be positive and get out there. I've decided to get my arse into gear and do the things I have been wanting to do for a long time. As soon as the store closes, I won't have anything tying me down to one place. I'm not saying I'm lonely. I'm awake, if you like. Does that even make sense? Shit it, it's staying in.
So, in answer to anyone wanting to know how I feel... I'm sad, angry, nervous, positive and excited. Or sangrousitived. Actually, no... that's a whole bucket of wrong. Sorry.
The one thing that really angers and disappoints me about yesterday though is something I've not told anybody at all until now...
...I was wearing my lucky pants. The bastards.