Hello, hello, hello and welcome to another pic 'n' mix of videos delights and possible horrors, all hand-picked by the freshest hands that definitely got washed after going the toilet.
TO THE VIDEOS.
How much does a hipster weigh?
I think we all need a bit of a laugh after the last 7 days, or indeed that last 2 years. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Breathe and repeat. Anyway, we start with a video from Barshens - the combined channel of VOTW favourites My Virgin Kitchen (Barry) and Ashens. Here they are trying not to laugh at eachother as they tell exceedingly crap jokes...
Those sort of pain-like noises Barry started making as he tried not to laugh reminded of something...
Greetings, Bastards. Welcome to the 24th weekly look at some moving pictures you might otherwise know as videos. Or Brian. If you're weird. We've entered November! How dirty...
Angry at me, personally
We start with a nod towards an anniversary that happened this week as it is 35 years since the UK got a 4th channel. In Wales, it is S4C (Sianel Pedwar Cymru) and in the rest of the UK it is Channel 4. They started on the 1st and 2nd of November 1982 respectively and of course are still going strong, despite what the critics of the time thought and indeed hoped.
With no disrespect intended to Wales, there doesn't seem to me much in the way of material relating to the launch of S4C online (please do put me right on that if you know different), but the genius that is Applemask did put together a massive documentary about Channel 4 for it's 30th anniversary and this is it, coming in your face and ears, right now...
Our minds are weird bastards. All it takes is one little thing to transport us back to another time in our lives. A few weeks ago I had to renew my Driving Licence because every 10 years in the UK, you have to update the photograph on it, much like a passport. I also needed to update my address on it, so you know... two birds with one stone, etc.
Anyway, I went to the main Post Office in Manchester city centre to get it all sorted (because I'm still relatively new to the city and I've not found my local one, yet) and after getting a "Biometrics & DVLA Renewals" queue ticket, I sat down in the waiting area. As I realised that I was in for a long wait, my mind began to wander and after spending some time internally tutting at how Post Offices have changed since I was knee-high to a Grasshopper, it suddenly hit me that it was 10 years since I applied for my provisional Driving Licence.
Are you shitting me? Is it really the end of October? Really!? Honestly!?
Yes. Yes it is. It is also time for another Videos Of The Week so sit down, unscrew your eyeballs and secure your sensitive parts, as it's time to for you to be force-fed more visual medication.
Xenoxxx has fallen
If you have been following Videos Of The Week, you may be aware that a thing called Mr Biffo's Found Footage has been existing before our very eyes and bottoms for some time now. You may also know that I am one of many, many backers of this wonderfully wrong project. After weeks of disturbing the mind glands of everyone on this planet, we have reached the finale and what a finale it is, as I present The Trojan Arse Protocol...
If you haven't been following Found Footage, I urge you to go back to the beginning and give it a go. It has been a real joy to watch and an absolute honour to be part of in a small way. Watch this space to see what may or may not happen in the near future.
You may have noticed that over the last month, the Videos Of The Week posts have been as regular as a regular thing, but my regular posts haven't been regular... if you get what I mean. Basically I haven't written a standard piece on here since last month and I feel a bit crap about that, so I wanted to apologise as I know a lot of you prefer those to the VOTW entries.
For various reasons, the last month or so has been a little bit shit and a little bit hectic and although I don't really want to go into any of it, I will say that I suppose things could be worse and there's always hope that they could get better. Well, we shall see about that. It's been one of those years that I guess you can call a sodding bastard of a year but hey ho, there's just over two months left of it before we can have a proper moan about how truly piss-soaked it's been.
Rest assured, I hope to be back to making regular posts very, very soon as I continue with VOTW... well unless you get sick of the latter. We shall see...
A little later than usual, it's time to lie back, close one eye and open your mouth as I force some videos into your mouth tunnel.
Stiff westerly winds
Earlier this week, the 30th anniversary of the Great Storm of 1987 was marked here in the UK with another massive bastard storm, only this one wasn't quite as massive or bastardy as the former. Aside from the coincidental weather, there was a smattering of features on news programmes to mark that fateful night, most of which wheeled out that clip of Michael Fish "getting the forecast wrong" for the 3249876598762nd time.
Given that we only ever see that bit and it appears to have been taken from an iffy off-air recording, you may well have assumed all these years it's all that exists of that notorious broadcast. Well although it seems that it does only exist as an off-air, the entire 2 minutes and 30 seconds of it is there and as you can probably see with our first video, there's a reason why you don't usually see more than the first 7 seconds...
Basically, after his infamous opening line, Fish then goes on to forecast the storm. The only difference being that the only information he could feed from suggested the worst of it would actually miss the country and skip through the Channel and up the North Sea. Naturally, this takes the fire out of the "HAHA, HE'S MEANT TO BE FORECASTING THE WEATHER AND HE GOT IT WRONG" angle, so we hardly ever see the actual sodding forecast. Alright, so the forecast predicts the storm happening in a slightly different place, but as they didn't have as much technology back then to provide better accuracy, I think you can forgive Michael and his colleagues for not getting such an event 100% right.
Why yes... yes it is. It's Videos Of The Week time again. I'm talking to myself. Why am I talking to myself? Put some clothes on. Shut up. No you shut up. Or shit up. Or whatever. Eat some biscuits because yeah... I haven't forgotten what to say, or anything.
We start this week with a beautiful short video from Geoff Marshall, featuring drone footage shot on a lovely day in Brighton last week. Enjoy... and try not to let the onset of shite weather and shorter days days depress you too much...