Results, Realism & Greased Palms

In the last few weeks, the annual agony and ecstasy of the dreaded exam results have come around for millions of teenagers in the UK and with it, the more recent tradition of people taking to social media to reassure the youth of today that it's not the end of the world if you don't get the grades you want, because they completely stuffed their exams, yet things have turned out alright for them.

Although there's nothing wrong with a bit of reassurance, I often wonder what the point is of this particular kind. On one hand, who is it really aimed at? Are the students who didn't get the results they wanted really going to be paying much attention to the advice a stranger or celebrity has to offer on Twitter? Probably not at that very moment in time, as they'll be too upset to notice.

On the other hand, as well-meaning as these people may be by retelling their tales of woe and how they still managed to do well, there's a fair chance it might have been easier for them to get by, with more options open to them if they did bugger it up. Times change pretty quickly, along with governments and the impact they have on the economy, which effects the education and career prospects of so many people. That's not to say that anyone who missed out on their desired grades this summer is completely fucked, but there are less options for them now than there were for those in the same situation ten or twenty years ago. Add to that, the increased pressure placed on children and young adults these days in general and it's no wonder opening an envelope one morning in August can potentially be one of the most soul-destroying things a teenager can experience.

Doors & Injury Time

There's a saying that goes "As one door closes, another one opens", but in my recent experience it's more like "As one door closes, another one opens, but as soon as you walk through, you realise it was a bad decision. Then you injure yourself and find yourself limping back out, only for the door to slam shut and no other doors seem to be opening, leaving you stuck and in a shitload of pain".

I suppose that isn't as short or catchy as the original, but it pretty much sums up how things have been for me, recently...

It's Not You, It's Me

Sometimes, you have to make difficult decisions. It's a part of life we all face more than once.

Sometimes, the decisions we make don't work out.

As you may recall last year, I left London and moved back up north to be with my folks, following an illness in the family. After living in the capital for 5 years, it was a big decision to make and quite an undertaking within a short time frame, but at that very moment in time, I needed to be closer to my relatives in order to provide support and help out.

Initially, I found the change very hard to adjust to. I had no job, all of my stuff was in storage and I was sleeping on a couch that wasn't really ideal for sleeping on, but the main thing was I was there to help and do what I could in what was a difficult situation. It took much longer than I expected and hoped it would to find a job during this time, which didn't really help how I was feeling, but I just kept at it, as I didn't have much choice.

Eventually, I was successful in securing a job in Manchester last August and as good as it was, I did have to endure a long commute to and from my new job each day. Thankfully that was only for a month, as I was soon able to find a place to live in Manchester, very close to the city. I moved in and everything seemed to be settling down. I even started to think that I would be able to make it work in the same way I did down in London. Within a few months however, I started getting a tiny feeling of doubt in my mind. Only a small one, but I could feel it and would think about it every now and again. Something just didn't feel right.

10

"People say that I'm crazy, but I'm not that way inclined..."

Little did I know that when I made my first post on here back in March 2008, I'd still be posting on here 10 years later. Actually, 2008 me probably would have put money on it, given that I'd already tried and failed to keep a few similar blogs going in one or two places and failed miserably. There have been a few times when I did fail to update it for months (and the whole of 2016...), but here we are: a decade on. Older, wiser(?) and this blog is still going.

A few months ago, I reflected on what my life was like in 2007 and how much it had changed in 10 years, so I don't really need to go into it again. When I started MIAITM, I was still out of work, still being treated like shite by The Smug Brigade and still living with my parents in the middle of nowhere. In a way, I started this off to try and keep myself sane. Hmmm... not sure it worked, but never mind.

I got a job just a couple of months after my first post, but I continued to write... until June that year, then I went quiet until March 2009... then quiet again until October 2010. Then the following month, I went quiet again... until May 2011. To be fair, a lot of really horrible shit happened during the latter two quiet periods and the one post I made that May was the last one I made until the October of that year, because I was still in a very bad place, mentally and therefore not up to writing. 

Shitty Snowball

I'm sitting here nearly 8 weeks after my last post, wondering how the shit has time moved so quickly. I apologise for the lack of activity on here in recent weeks. Let's just say things haven't exactly been going well.

Within days of 2018 beginning, something shitty happened and then like a shitty snowball falling from the top of a mountain, shitty things kept building up and I found myself not being in the right frame of mind to write anything and on some occasions, with no time to write anything, anyway.

2017: Jigsaws & Assorted Bastards

Another year has gone.

From a personal point of view, I'm calling last year "2017: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Get Out Of Bed Again". In other words, 2017 was not the best of years for me, or indeed my family. Something pretty serious happened in January that's had quite an impact on all of us and it pretty much shaped the outcome of the year from early on.

As a result, I made the decision to quit my job and life in London. It was by no means an easy decision, because in the 5 years I'd been there, I had made a lot of friends, done a lot of stuff and generally had a great time (not that I'm saying it was all fantastic, but I was happy). As my departure was relatively fast, I didn't have a lot of time to think or plan things properly and to be honest, maybe I should have done things differently.

Before I knew it, I was back with my folks, sleeping on the sofa, looking for a job in a small city where companies seemingly only wanted to employ students that they could treat like shit and pay them sod-all. I started looking further afield to Manchester and Liverpool, but ended up stuck in that shitty cycle of nobody wanting to employ me unless I was living nearby, but being unable to live nearby until I had a job.